I’ve now officially had five MRI’s in my lifetime. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the truth. As I explained yesterday, I absolutely HATE MRI’s. It’s just the thought of being stuffed inside a tube, without much elbow room, that drives me crazy. But like I said, I’m reluctantly going through all the tests the doctors want me to do.
So yesterday I showed up at the hospital MRI Center for yet, my fifth, MRI. I popped a Xanax about 15 minutes before my arrival. So by the time I got there… ahhhhhh…. What up dude? Life was good… life was easy… not a care in the world! It’s the pill form of marijuana without the hunger and laughter! (Not that I would ever know). I checked in, filled out some paperwork and was ready to go. But, they won’t take you in without some humiliation! “Ed, you must change into this gown!” Come on… someone needs to add some style to those stupid gowns. One size fits all and, of course, they’re uni-sex; meaning no one looks good in them! The gowns are also multipurpose. Sometimes you get to wear them with the opening in the front. Other times you get to wear them with the opening in the back. And, of course, you can’t comfortably walk in them when the “back door” is open! So I did as I was told and put the darned thing on. The nurse allowed me to put on a standard hospital issued “robe” which is an ugly blue color that clashes with the green gown. Oh well… at least it covered my backside!
I have to say, having to go through an MRI, this was the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had. The tech was very understanding and was very attentive to my concerns. The Xanax worked perfectly, but she was the icing on the cake. I laid on the table that slides in the tube. She gave me several pillows under my head and feet. She gave me some headphones of which I blasted some AC/DC and the like. The Xanax buzz was still going strong… there I go… into the tube. The tech then talked with me through the headphones. “Ok Ed, I just need to do some tests. You’re going to hear some noise but it’s ok.” “Ok Ed, here we go. This part will take about 3 minutes.” “Ok Ed, we’re done with that. The next will take 1 minute.” Ok Ed, you’re doing good.” She was great and it really helped me get through it. After about 20-25 minutes the slid me out of the tube. I thought I was done. Phew! But nope, the had to inject some dye into me and do it again. It wasn’t bad. It took another 10 minutes or so.
Bottom line, I got through the MRI. And seriously, please don’t tell my doctor but if need be, I’d do it again but only if this woman drove the machine.
Now back to waiting…